areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
