He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
