Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize