Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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