I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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