Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think my moral compass just broke
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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