Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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