I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i've created a new STD.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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