Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
