So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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