I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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