something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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