my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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