it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
