just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
