I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
