marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
