He kissed a someone with a penis
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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