I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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