WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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