lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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