I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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