i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
