You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
