nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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