Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This baby is an asshole
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
