so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
