you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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