I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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