we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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