There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
