There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
