im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
