apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
