...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
