She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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