Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
