yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
40s are totally the cure
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
