FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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