Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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