i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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