hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
