Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
