maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
