god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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