Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
