i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Pants are for mortals
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize