Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize