I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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