Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
