you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
