I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
