My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize