Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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