im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
