i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
