nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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