whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
