There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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